a sudden I couldn't stop。 This weird feeling started
taking over the pit of my stomach； and I didn't like it。 Not one bit。 To tell you the truth； it
scared the Sheetrock out of me。
I buried the paper under my pillow and tried to remind myself of what a pain Juli Baker was。
But my mind started to wander again； and pretty soon
I had that stupid paper out from under my pillow。
This was insane！ What was I doing？
I made myself shut out the light and go to bed。 I was slipping； man； and it was definitely time
to get a grip。
The Yard
I'd never been embarrassed by where we lived before。 I'd never looked at our house； or even
our side of the street； and said； Oh！ I wish we lived in
the new development—those houses are so much newer； so much better！ This is where I'd
grown up。 This was my home。
I was aware of the yard； sure。 My mother had grumbled about it for years。 But it was a low
grumbling； not worthy of deep concern。 Or so I'd
supposed。 But maybe I should have wondered。 Why let the outside go and keep the inside
so nice？ It was spotless inside our house。 Except for the
boys' room； that is。 Mom gave up on that after she discovered the snake。 If they were old
enough to adopt a snake； she told my brothers； they were
old enough to clean their own room。 Matt and Mike translated this to keep the door closed；
and became quite diligent about doing just that。
Besides the yard； I also never really wondered about the money； or the apparent lack thereof。
I knew we weren't rich； but I didn't feel like I was
missing anything。 Anything you could buy； anyway。
Matt and Mike did ask for things a lot； but even though my mother would tell them； No； boys；
we just can't afford that； I took this to mean； No； boys；
you don't deserve that； or； No； boys； you don't really need that。 It wasn't until Bryce called
our home a plete dive that I started really seeing
things。
It wasn't just the yard。 It was my dad's truck； my mother's car； the family bike that was more
rust than steel； and the fact that when we did buy
something new； it always seemed to e from a second…time…around store。 Plus； we never
went on vacation。 Ever。
Why was that？ My father was the hardest…working man in the world； and my mother worked
for TempService doing secretarial jobs whenever she
could。 What was all that hard work about if this is where it got you？
Asking my parents whether we were poor seemed incredibly impolite。 But as the days went
by； I knew I had to ask。 Just had to。 Every day I'd ride
home from school on our rusty bike； pull past the broken fence and patchy yard； and think；
Tonight。 I'll ask them tonight。
But then I wouldn't ask them。 I just didn't know how。
Then one day I had an idea。 A way to talk to them about it and maybe help out a little； too。
And since my brothers were working at the music store
that night； and nobody was saying much of anything at the table； I took a deep breath and
said； “I was thinking； you know； that it wouldn't be hard to
fix up the front yard if I could get some nails and a hammer and maybe some paint？ And how
much does grass seed cost？ It can't be that much；
right？ I could plant a lawn； and maybe even some flowers？”
My parents stopped eating and stared at me。
……… Page 45………
“I know how to use a saw and a hammer—it could be； you know； a project。”
My mother quit looking at me and stared at my father； instead。
My father sighed and said； “The yard is not our responsibility； Julianna。”
“It's … it's not？”
He shook his head and said； “It's Mr。 Finnegan's。”
“Who's Mr。 Finnegan？”
“The man who owns this house。”
I couldn't believe my ears。 “What？”
My father cleared his throat and said； “The landlord。”
“You mean we don't own this house？”
They looked at each other； having some private wordless conversation I couldn't decipher。
Finally my father said； “I didn't realize you didn't know
that。”
“But … but that doesn't make sense！ Aren't landlords supposed to e and do things？ Like
fix the roof when it leaks and clear the drains when
they're plugged？ You always do that stuff； Dad。 Why do you do it when he's supposed to？”
“Because；” he sighed； “it's easier than asking him for help。”
“But if—”
“And；” my father interrupted me； “it keeps him from raising the rent。”
“But …”
My mother reached over and took my hand。 “Sweetheart； I'm sorry if this is a shock。 I guess
we always thought you knew。”
“But what about the yard？ Why keep up the inside but not the outside？”
My father frowned and said； “When we signed the lease； he assured us he would fix the
fences； front and back； and plant sod in the front yard。
Obviously that never happened。” He shook his head。 “It's a major undertaking； and fencing is
not cheap。 I can't see putting that sort of investment
into a property that's not ours。 Plus； it's the principle of the thing。”
“But we live here；” I whispered； “and it looks so bad。”
My father studied me。 “Julianna； what happened？”
“Nothing； Daddy；” I said； but he knew I was lying。
“Sweetheart；” he whispered； “tell me。”
I knew what he'd say if I told him； and yet I couldn't not tell him。 Not with the way he was
looking at me。 So I took a deep breath and said； “The
Loskis have been throwing my eggs away because they were afraid they'd have salmonella
because our yard is such a mess。”
My father said； “Oh； that's ridiculous；” but my mother gasped； “What？” Then she cried； “Did
Patsy say that？”
I looked down。 “No； Bryce did。”
“But it must've been a family discussion！ A boy doesn't e up with that on his own … ！” My
mother looked for all the world like a doe waiting to
be shot through the heart。 She covered her face with her hands and said； “I can't go on like
this！ Robert； things have got to change。 They've just got
to！”
“Trina； you know I'm doing the best I can。 I'm sorry about the yard； I'm sorry about the
situation。 This isn't the picture I had for my life； either； but
sometimes you have to sacrifice for what's right。”
My mother looked up from her hands and said； “This is not right for our family。 Your daughter
is suffering because we won't fix up our own yard。”
“It's not our yard。” “How can you say that？ Robert； wake up！ We have lived here for twelve
years。 It's not temporary anymore！ If we ever want to
have a decent place with our own yard； if we're going to help the kids through college or do
any of the other things we've promised each other； we're
going to have to move him into government care。”
……… Page 46………
My father let out a deep sigh and whispered； “We've discussed this so many times； Trina。 In
the end you always agree that keeping him at
Greenhaven is the right thing to do。”
I wanted to say； Wait！ What are you talking about？ Who are you talking about？ But the
conversation was flying so fast and furious that I couldn't
seem to break in； and it wasn't long before they were bickering so badly that it was almost
like I wasn't there。
Then in the back of my mind； it clicked。 Everything clicked。 It was my dad's brother they were
talking about。 My uncle。 David。
To me Uncle David was only a name。 Someone my parents had explained to me； but not
someone I'd ever actually met。 And even though I knew
my dad visited him； I never knew exactly when。 He never talked about it。
Dad also thought we shouldn't talk about Uncle David to others because David was retarded。
“People jump to conclusions；” he'd told me。 “They
assume that； by association； something must also be wrong with you。 Trust me； I know。”
So we didn't talk about it。 Not at home； not with friends。 It was almost like there was no Uncle
David。
Until now。 Now he felt larger than life； and I could tell from their argument that he was the