Such Friendships are of course very liable to dissolution if the parties do not continue alike： I mean； that the others cease to have any Friendship for them when they are no longer pleasurable or useful。 Now it is the nature of utility not to be permanent but constantly varying： so； of course； when the motive which made them friends is vanished； the Friendship likewise dissolves； since it existed only relatively to those circumstances。。。
That then is perfect Friendship which subsists between those who are good and whose similarity consists in their goodness： for these men wish one another’s good in similar ways； insofar as they are good （and good they are in themselves）； and those are specially friends who wish good to their friends for their sakes； because they feel thus toward them on their own account and not as a mere matter of result； so the Friendship between these men continues to subsist so long as they are good； and goodness； we know； has in it a principle of permanence 。。。
Rare it is probable Friendships of this kind will be； because men of this kind are rare。 Besides； all requisite qualifications being presupposed； there is further required time and intimacy： for； as the proverb says； men cannot know one another“till they have eaten the requisite quantity of salt together”； nor can they in fact admit one another to intimacy； much less be friends； till each has appeared to the other and been proved to be a fit object of Friendship。 They who speedily mence an interchange of friendly actions may be said to wish to be friends； but they are not so unless they are also proper objects of Friendship and mutually known to be such： that is to say； a desire for Friendship may arise quickly but not Friendship itself。
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亚里士多德论自律（1）
＇古希腊＇亚里士多德
亚里士多德告诉我们，人类是自己行为的累积，因此习性造就了不同的我们。《尼各马可伦理学》让我们懂得，道德的美德是从实践中产生的，就像掌握各种艺术或机械技能一样。那么，实践的最佳途径是什么呢？亚里士多德在他的“中庸之道”解释中作出了回答。在他看来，在某种特定的情况下，正确的道德行为是介于两种邪恶极端的中庸之道。我们通过确定倾向于哪种邪恶，然后有意识地朝着相反的邪恶移动，最后达到中庸，以此来实践正确的道德行为。
美德有两种，即智慧的美德与道德的美德。智慧的美德是由教谕产生与发展的，因此它需要有充足的经验与时间。道德的美德来自习惯……这些美德既不是生来就为我们所有，也不是逆天性而为，而是靠自然赋予的能力来获得的，并且我们在习惯中使它们有所发展……正如其他艺术一样。这些美德是在我们初次笃行它们的过程中获得的，不管我们学习什么，都是在真正去做的过程中学到。比如，人们通过建筑才成为了建筑师；通过演奏竖琴才成为了竖琴演奏家。同样，在日常生活中，我们言行正直才成为了正直之人；平素里坚持自制才成为了克己之人；时常勇敢行事才成为了勇敢之人……
人际关系中，我们如何待人待物，决定了我们能否成为正直之人。如何面对危险的境况，是对自己有信心还是担心畏惧，决定了我们成为勇敢之人还是怯懦之人。欲望与愤怒亦是如此：在这样的情况下，有些人在它们的指导下变得能自制、有耐性；而另一些人则变得冲动、不能自制。总之，行动衍生出相应的性格与气质。所以我们必须对我们的行动赋予某种特性……简而言之，我们儿时养成的习惯可以造就巨大的不同，甚至可以说造成完全不同的结果。
道德的美德是一种介于两种极端——过度和缺乏——之间的美德……是以达到情感与行为中庸为目的。要做到这一点很难，因为在过度与缺乏中寻找到中庸的确很难，其难度不低于找到一个圆的圆心。恼怒或者花钱都很容易——任何一个人都能做到。但是要在恰当的时间、恰当的场合，用恰当的态度去应对恰当的人就不容易了，也并非每个人都能做到。
因此，追求中庸之道的人，首先应当小心远离比另一端更有悖于中庸的一端……因为两端之中总有一端错误更多。因为达到中庸之道相当困难，因此我们只能退而求其次，将邪恶分成最少的作为我们最安全的准备……
我们应该注意经常犯的各种错误。它们因人而异，我们将在痛苦与欢乐中找到自己经常犯的错误。发现自己的错误后，必须强迫自己向相反的方向发展。因为只有远离自己的过失才能达到中庸之道，这就如同我们将一块弯曲的木头重新展平一样。但是无论在何种情况下，我们都应该提防带来欢乐之事以及享乐本身，因为我们无法对之作出公正的裁决……
这一点非常清楚：在我们的所有行为中，中庸之道是一种最受人称道的境界。但是在实际情况中，我们有时会倾向于过度，有时倾向于缺乏，因此这就是达到中庸之道的最简洁的方式，亦即正确之道。
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真正的自由都要受到一定的约束和限制，没有任何限制、不约束的自由是不存在的，这是自律中的一个重要的知识。所以，自律，能使人获得行动的自由。学会自律，是解决人生问题的首要工具，也是消除人生痛苦的重要手段。通过自律，我们就知道在面对问题时，如何以坚毅、果敢的态度，从学习与成长中获得益处。
Aristotle on Self…Discipline
Aristotle
We are the sum of our actions； Aristotle tells us； and therefore our habits make all the difference。 Moral virtue； we learn in this discussion from the Niachean Ethics； es with practice； just like the mastery of any art or mechanical skill。 And what is the best way to practice？ Aristotle’s answer lies in his explanation of “the mean。” In his view； correct moral behavior in any given situation lies at the midway point between the extremes of two vices。 We must practice hitting the mean by determining which vice we tend toward and then consciously moving toward the other extreme； until we reach the middle。。 最好的txt下载网
亚里士多德论自律（2）
Virtue； then； is of two kinds； intellectual and moral。 Intellectual virtue springs from and grows from teaching； and therefore needs experience and time。 Moral virtues e from habit。。。 They are in us neither by nature； nor in despite of nature； but we are furnished by nature with a capacity for receiving them； and we develop them through habit。。。 These virtues we acquire by first exercising them； as in the case of other arts。 Whatever we learn to do； we learn by actually doing it： men e to be builders； for instance； by building； and harp players； by playing the harp。 In the same way； by doing just acts we e to be just； by doing self…controlled acts； we e to be self…controlled； and by doing brave acts； we bee brave。。。
How we act in our relations with other people makes us just or unjust。 How we face dangerous situations； either accustoming ourselves to fear or confidence； makes us brave or cowardly。 Occasions of lust and anger are similar： some people bee self…controlled and patient from their conduct in such situations； and others uncontrolled and passionate。 In a word； then； activities produce similar dispositions。 Therefore we must give a certain character to our activities。。。 In short； the habits we form from childhood make no small difference； but rather they make all the difference。
Moral virtue is a mean that lies between two vices； one of excess and the other of deficiency； and。。。 it aims at hitting the mean both in feelings and actions。 So it is hard to be good； for surely it is hard in each instance to find the mean； just as it is difficult to find the center of a circle。 It is easy to get angry or to spend money—anyone can do that。 But to act the right way toward the right person； in due proportion； at the right time； for the right reason； and in the right manner—this is not easy； and not everyone can do it。
Therefore he who aims at the mean should make it his first care to keep away from that extreme which is more contrary than the other to the mean。。。 For one of the two extremes is always more erroneous than the other。 And since hitting the mean exactly is difficult； one must take the next best course； and choose the least of the evils as the safest plan。。。
We should also take notice of the errors into which we naturally tend to fall。 They vary in each individual’s case； and we will discover ours by the pleasure or pain they give us。 Having discovered our errors； we must force ourselves off in the opposite direction。 For we shall arrive at the mean by moving away from our failing； just as if we were straightening a bent piece of wood。 But in all cases we should guard most carefully against what is pleasant； and pleasure itself； because we are not impartial judges of it。。。
This much； then； is plain： in all our conduct； the mean is the most praiseworthy state。 But as a practical matter； we must sometimes aim a bit toward excess and sometimes toward deficiency； because this will be the easiest way of hitting the mean； that is； what is right。
童 年（1）
＇俄国＇列夫·托尔斯泰
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