ughing and trudging behind。 They both climbed on and he wrapped his arms around her small frame。 “Let’s go！” he cried； pushing them toward the edge of the slope。
As they hurtled down the hill across the crisp fresh snow； Jenny felt the sting of the wind against her face。 This was nothing like traying at Waverly； where everyone used the dining hall trays to slide down the teeny…tiny hill behind Dumbarton； one of the girls’ dorms。 Toboggans were so much more authentic and quaint。 She felt like one of the sisters in Little Women。 They were always going sledding with their neighbor Laurie； who was too cute for his own good。
Sort of like a certain green…eyed Adonis we all know and love？
The sled coasted to a stop at the foot of the hill。 Jenny breathed out in wonderment。 Fat snowflakes circled furiously around them； and the majestic pine trees were coated in white。 She felt like she was trapped in a snow globe。
“Was that too fast for you？” Nate turned around； his brow furrowed in concern。 His arms were still circled tightly around her waist。 She shook her head。
She knew what she wanted to do when they got back to the house tonight。 She was a virgin； and had been waiting for the right person and the right time。 Waverly was such a small school and everyone knew everyone’s business。 Soon after she got there； she realized that when she did lose her virginity； she wanted it to be with someone special； someone she trusted。 Someone like Nate。
“Hey hornyheads！” Serena called cheerfully as she coasted down the hill by herself on a red toboggan。 Jenny broke away guiltily and waved。
“Want to race？” Nate called to Serena； a devilish gleam in his eye as he grabbed the toboggan rope and began pulling it back up the hill。
“I want to race；” Blair called from the other side of the hill； where she and Chuck were setting up their own sled。 She couldn’t believe little Jenny Humphrey was getting all cozy with Nate in front of everyone。 Who the fuck did she think she was？
“You want to steer； or should I？” Chuck asked； gesturing to the sled。
“I don’t care。” Blair plunked down on the toboggan。 She crossed her arms； then uncrossed them； remembering she wasn’t supposed to care about Nate anymore。 Chuck sat down behind her； stretching out his long legs and crossing them over hers。
“Actually； I’ve had enough。” Blair stood up abruptly。 “I’m wet and freezing and I’m going inside；” she huffed； stomping toward the garage。 What twenty…year…olds sledded for fun？ Serena’s lame boyfriend had the right idea to drink wine in the library instead of ing sledding。 Maybe she’d go join him。
Jealousy loves pany。
when the lights go out
Blair stormed into the sunken living room and flicked on the Tiffany lamp on the end table。 Nothing happened。 “Don’t tell me the fucking power is out。”
“Do you know where the fuse box is？” Chuck asked； ing up behind her。
“Hey。” Dan emerged from the library。 “Do you know where the fuse box is？” he asked。
Blair shook her head。 Why did boys care so much about fuse boxes？
“I’m going to bed；” she announced haughtily。
Dan nodded； squinting past Blair into the darkness。 He could hear Serena； Jenny； and Nate taking off their boots in the kitchen。 Dan suddenly felt guilty for abandoning them。 He and Vanessa had been texting for the past few hours； volleying remember…whens and would…you…rathers back and forth。 He hadn’t even noticed that the power had gone off until Blair stomped in。 It made him worried that there might have been other things he hadn’t noticed。
Like that his little sister’s all grown up？
“I think we should all go to bed；” Blair added； stamping out the memory of Nate’s hands around Jenny’s waist on the hill。 It was the last thing she wanted to think about right now。
Upstairs； Blair took a long hot shower by candlelight； trying to let the water wash away her nagging frustrations。 Nate had looked so happy tonight； so different from the tormented Nate of last winter。 When she closed her eyes she saw him laughing； tugging a toboggan up a hill。 She saw him lobbing snowballs at Serena。 Hugging Jenny。 She saw him smiling； his green eyes glittering。 She stepped out of the shower and toweled off； pulling on a Cosabella tank top and shorts set before heading into the bedroom。 Chuck was already asleep； his breathing deep and even。
She climbed into bed and lay next to Chuck； turning over so she was lying on her side。 She couldn’t get fortable。 Lying next to Chuck didn’t feel right。 Instead； she found herself thinking about a certain attic bedroom。
Maybe she and Nate needed to talk。 Or kiss。 One more time。 One last time。 Just to say goodbye； so she could get rid of all the confusing feelings swirling around her brain。 So that she could finally enter her grown…up life； without any worries about her past ing back to haunt her。 She swung her legs out of bed； grabbed a candle from the antique oak dresser； and headed for the door。
Next door； Serena lay awake in bed。 Dan was sleeping with his cell phone clutched to his chest like a tiny electronic life preserver。 She felt alone with her jumbled thoughts。
Being outside with Nate had been so fun； so natural。 She wasn’t playful when she was with Dan。 She always hesitated for a half second before she said anything； worried she’d disappoint him by not sounding smart。 She hated worrying。
She wondered what Nate was doing upstairs。 He’d seemed disappointed when Blair wanted to go inside； like he wished he could stay outside and play forever。 And that was what Serena loved most about him。
She swung her feet onto the cold floor。
There was no way in hell Jenny was even going to try to sleep。 The whole evening—playing in the snow as if she were a heroine in a nineteenth…century novel； ing back to a power outage； feeling Nate’s warm breath on her cold skin—had been so romantic。 And there was no reason the evening had to e to an end。 She pulled on a camisole and the leggings she’d worn on her RISD tour。 It wasn’t ideal； but there was no way she would go upstairs to lose her virginity in one of Blair’s discarded T…shirts。 The makeshift jammies would have to do。
Okay； Jenny whispered to herself。 She felt excited and nervous all at the same time。 She creaked the door open and stepped into the dark hallway。
Blair climbed up the rickety attic stairs； a Tocca candle in one hand。 It was fig scented and perfect for the bedside； but not very helpful in casting light on her path。 She looked up when she heard a sound ing from the door at the bottom of the stairs。
Serena。 She wore one of her ancient C&C California T…shirts from high school； without a bra underneath。 The candlelight flickered over her pale hair and perfect features； making her look more beautiful than ever。
“What are you doing？” Blair whispered； balancing precariously on the stair。
Serena sucked in her breath。 What was Blair doing here？ “I was going to the bathroom。 Dan was taking a shower in ours and I remembered there was a bathroom up here；” she lied； shrugging nonchalantly。 “What are you doing？” she asked； even though she had a feeling she knew the answer to that question。
“I was making sure the window upstairs was closed；” Blair shot back。 At least that made more sense than Serena’s ridiculous lie。 It was so fucking obvious Serena was trying to sneak into Nate’s room。
“Do you need help？ With the window？” Serena asked； arching an eyebrow。
“I’ll just text Nate to get it。 No use waking everyone up。 And there’s a bathroom downstairs。 I can show you；” Blair challenged。
Serena paused。 Finally； she nodded。
Blair escorted Serena down the hallway like a policewoman with a petty criminal； standing sentry at the door。 She heard Serena turn on the faucet before emerging a few seconds later。
“Good night；” the two girls said； daring each other to be the first to turn back and climb the attic stairs。
Blair didn’t budge。 It was her goddamn house。 She was going to stay up all night if that was what it took。 “Good night；” Blair said again； more pointedly。
“See you tomorrow morning；” Serena said before heading reluctantly down the hallway。 Would Blair go back to Nate’s bedroom after