《The Rainbow-虹(英文版)》

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The Rainbow-虹(英文版)- 第121节


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It was midsummer; the days were glamorously long。 At about
half…past ten; when the bluey…black darkness had at last fallen;
they took rugs and climbed the steep track to the summit of the
downs; he and she。

Up there; the stars were big; the earth below was gone into
darkness。 She was free up there with the stars。 Far out they saw
tiny yellow lights……but it was very far out; at sea; or on
land。 She was free up among the stars。

She took off her clothes; and made him take off all his; and
they ran over the smooth; moonless turf; a long way; more than a
mile from where they had left their clothing; running in the
dark; soft wind; utterly naked; as naked as the downs
themselves。 Her hair was loose and blew about her shoulders; she
ran swiftly; wearing sandals when she set off on the long run to
the dew…pond。

In the round dew…pond the stars were untroubled。 She ventured
softly into the water; grasping at the stars with her hands。

And then suddenly she started back; running swiftly。 He was
there; beside her; but only on sufferance。 He was a screen for
her fears。 He served her。 She took him; she clasped him;
clenched him close; but her eyes were open looking at the stars;
it was as if the stars were lying with her and entering the
unfathomable darkness of her womb; fathoming her at last。 It was
not him。

The dawn came。 They stood together on a high place; an
earthwork of the stone…age men; watching for the light。 It came
over the land。 But the land was dark。 She watched a pale rim on
the sky; away against the darkened land。 The darkness became
bluer。 A little wind was running in from the sea behind。 It
seemed to be running to the pale rift of the dawn。 And she and
he darkly; on an outpost of the darkness; stood watching for the
dawn。

The light grew stronger; gushing up against the dark sapphire
of the transparent night。 The light grew stronger; whiter; then
over it hovered a flush of rose。 A flush of rose; and then
yellow; pale; new…created yellow; the whole quivering and
poising momentarily over the fountain on the sky's rim。

The rose hovered and quivered; burned; fused to flame; to a
transient red; while the yellow urged out in great waves; thrown
from the ever…increasing fountain; great waves of yellow
flinging into the sky; scattering its spray over the darkness;
which became bluer and bluer; paler; till soon it would itself
be a radiance; which had been darkness。

The sun was ing。 There was a quivering; a powerful
terrifying swim of molten light。 Then the molten source itself
surged forth; revealing itself。 The sun was in the sky; too
powerful to look at。

And the ground beneath lay so still; so peaceful。 Only now
and again a cock crew。 Otherwise; from the distant yellow hills
to the pine trees at the foot of the downs; everything was newly
washed into being; in a flood of new; golden creation。

It was so unutterably still and perfect with promise; the
golden…lighted; distinct land; that Ursula's soul rocked and
wept。 Suddenly he glanced at her。 The tears were running over
her cheeks; her mouth was working strangely。

〃What is the matter?〃 he asked。

After a moment's struggle with her voice。

〃It is so beautiful;〃 she said; looking at the glowing;
beautiful land。 It was so beautiful; so perfect; and so
unsullied。

He too realized what England would be in a few hours'
time……a blind; sordid; strenuous activity; all for nothing;
fuming with dirty smoke and running trains and groping in the
bowels of the earth; all for nothing。 A ghastliness came over
him。

He looked at Ursula。 Her face was wet with tears; very
bright; like a transfiguration in the refulgent light。 Nor was
his the hand to wipe away the burning; bright tears。 He stood
apart; overe by a cruel ineffectuality。

Gradually a great; helpless sorrow was rising in him。 But as
yet he was fighting it away; he was struggling for his own life。
He became very quiet and unaware of the things about him;
awaiting; as it were; her judgment on him。

They returned to Nottingham; the time of her examination
came。 She must go to London。 But she would not stay with him in
an hotel。 She would go to a quiet little pension near the
British Museum。

Those quiet residential squares of London made a great
impression on her mind。 They were very plete。 Her mind seemed
imprisoned in their quietness。 Who was going to liberate
her?

In the evening; her practical examinations being over; he
went with her to dinner at one of the hotels down the river;
near Richmond。 It was golden and beautiful; with yellow water
and white and scarlet…striped boat…awnings; and blue shadows
under the trees。

〃When shall we be married?〃 he asked her; quietly; simply; as
if it fort。

She watched the changing pleasure…traffic of the river。 He
looked at her golden; puzzled museau。 The knot gathered
in his throat。

〃I don't know;〃 she said。

A hot grief gripped his throat。

〃Why don't you know……don't you want to be married?〃 he
asked her。

Her head turned slowly; her face; puzzled; like a boy's face;
expressionless because she was trying to think; looked towards
his face。 She did not see him; because she was pre…occupied。 She
did not quite know what she was going to say。

〃I don't think I want to be married;〃 she said; and her
naive; troubled; puzzled eyes rested a moment on his; then
travelled away; pre…occupied。

〃Do you mean never; or not just yet?〃 he asked。

The knot in his throat grew harder; his face was drawn as if
he were being strangled。

〃I mean never;〃 she said; out of some far self which spoke
for once beyond her。

His drawn; strangled face watched her blankly for a few
moments; then a strange sound took place in his throat。 She
started; came to herself; and; horrified; saw him。 His head made
a queer motion; the chin jerked back against the throat; the
curious; crowing; hiccupping sound came again; his face twisted
like insanity; and he was crying; crying blind and twisted as if
something were broken which kept him in control。

〃Tony……don't;〃 she cried; starting up。

It tore every one of her nerves to see him。 He made groping
movements to get out of his chair。 But he was crying
uncontrollably; noiselessly; with his face twisted like a mask;
contorted and the tears running down the amazing grooves in his
cheeks。 Blindly; his face always this horrible working mask; he
groped for his hat; for his way down from the terrace。 It was
eight o'clock; but still brightly light。 The other people were
staring。 In great agitation; part of which was exasperation; she
stayed behind; paid the waiter with a half…sovereign; took her
yellow silk coat; then followed Skrebensky。

She saw him walking with brittle; blind steps along the path
by the river。 She could tell by the strange stiffness and
brittleness of his figure that he was still crying。 Hurrying
after him; running; she took his arm。

〃Tony;〃 she cried; 〃don't! Why are you like this? What are
you doing this for? Don't。 It's not necessary。〃

He heard; and his manhood was cruelly; coldly defaced。 Yet it
was no good。 He could not gain control of his face。 His face;
his breast; were weeping violently; as if automatically。 His
will; his knowledge had nothing to do with it。 He simply could
not stop。

She walked holding his arm; silent with exasperation and
perplexity and pain。 He took the uncertain steps of a blind man;
because his mind was blind with weeping。

〃Shall we go home? Shall we have a taxi?〃 she said。

He could pay no attention。 Very flustered; very agitated; she
signalled indefinitely to a taxi…cab that was going slowly by。
The driver saluted and drew up。 She opened the door and pushed
Skrebensky in; then took her own place。 Her face was uplifted;
the mouth closed down; she looked hard and cold and ashamed。 She
winced as the driver's dark red face was thrust round upon her;
a full…blooded; animal face with black eyebrows and a thick;
short…cut moustache。

〃Where to; lady?〃 he said; his white teeth showing。 Again for
a moment she was flustered。

〃Forty; Rutland Square;〃 she said。

He touched his cap and stolidly set the car in motion。 He
seemed to have a league with her to ignore Sk
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