been cattle to her； they had been her cattle that she owned and
used。 What were these people？ Now she was ing awake； she was
lost。
But she had felt Brangwen go by almost as if he had brushed
her。 She had tingled in body as she had gone on up the road。
After she had been with him in the Marsh kitchen； the voice of
her body had risen strong and insistent。 Soon； she wanted him。
He was the man who had e nearest to her for her
awakening。
Always； however； between…whiles she lapsed into the old
unconsciousness； indifference and there was a will in her to
save herself from living any more。 But she would wake in the
morning one day and feel her blood running； feel herself lying
open like a flower unsheathed in the sun； insistent and potent
with demand。
She got to know him better； and her instinct fixed on
him……just on him。 Her impulse was strong against him；
because he was not of her own sort。 But one blind instinct led
her； to take him； to leave him； and then to relinquish herself
to him。 It would be safety。 She felt the rooted safety of him；
and the life in him。 Also he was young and very fresh。 The blue；
steady livingness of his eyes she enjoyed like morning。 He was
very young。
Then she lapsed again to stupor and indifference。 This；
however； was bound to pass。 The warmth flowed through her； she
felt herself opening； unfolding； asking； as a flower opens in
full request under the sun； as the beaks of tiny birds open
flat； to receive； to receive。 And unfolded she turned to him；
straight to him。 And he came； slowly； afraid； held back by
uncouth fear； and driven by a desire bigger than himself。
When she opened and turned to him； then all that had been and
all that was； was gone from her； she was as new as a flower that
unsheathes itself and stands always ready； waiting； receptive。
He could not understand this。 He forced himself； through lack of
understanding； to the adherence to the line of honourable
courtship and sanctioned； licensed marriage。 Therefore； after he
had gone to the vicarage and asked for her； she remained for
some days held in this one spell； open； receptive to him； before
him。 He was roused to chaos。 He spoke to the vicar and gave in
the banns。 Then he stood to wait。
She remained attentive and instinctively expectant before
him； unfolded； ready to receive him。 He could not act； because
of self…fear and because of his conception of honour towards
her。 So he remained in a state of chaos。
And after a few days； gradually she closed again； away from
him； was sheathed over； impervious to him； oblivious。 Then a
black； bottomless despair became real to him； he knew what he
had lost。 He felt he had lost it for good； he knew what it was
to have been in munication with her； and to be cast off
again。 In misery； his heart like a heavy stone； he went about
unliving。
Till gradually he became desperate； lost his understanding；
was plunged in a revolt that knew no bounds。 Inarticulate； he
moved with her at the Marsh in violent； gloomy； wordless
passion； almost in hatred of her。 Till gradually she became
aware of him； aware of herself with regard to him； her blood
stirred to life； she began to open towards him； to flow towards
him again。 He waited till the spell was between them again； till
they were together within one rushing； hastening flame。 And then
again he was bewildered； he was tied up as with cords； and could
not move to her。 So she came to him； and unfastened the breast
of his waistcoat and his shirt； and put her hand on him； needing
to know him。 For it was cruel to her； to be opened and offered
to him； yet not to know what he was； not even that he was there。
She gave herself to the hour； but he could not； and he bungled
in taking her。
So that he lived in suspense； as if only half his faculties
worked； until the wedding。 She did not understand。 But the
vagueness came over her again； and the days lapsed by。 He could
not get definitely into touch with her。 For the time being； she
let him go again。
He suffered very much from the thought of actual marriage；
the intimacy and nakedness of marriage。 He knew her so little。
They were so foreign to each other； they were such strangers。
And they could not talk to each other。 When she talked； of
Poland or of what had been； it was all so foreign； she scarcely
municated anything to him。 And when he looked at her； an
over…much reverence and fear of the unknown changed the nature
of his desire into a sort of worship； holding her aloof from his
physical desire； self…thwarting。
She did not know this； she did not understand。 They had
looked at each other； and had accepted each other。 It was so；
then there was nothing to balk at； it was plete between
them。
At the wedding； his face was stiff and expressionless。 He
wanted to drink； to get rid of his forethought and afterthought；
to set the moment free。 But he could not。 The suspense only
tightened at his heart。 The jesting and joviality and jolly；
broad insinuation of the guests only coiled him more。 He could
not hear。 That which was impending obsessed him； he could not
get free。
She sat quiet； with a strange； still smile。 She was not
afraid。 Having accepted him； she wanted to take him； she
belonged altogether to the hour； now。 No future； no past； only
this； her hour。 She did not even notice him； as she sat beside
him at the head of the table。 He was very near； their ing
together was close at hand。 What more！
As the time came for all the guests to go； her dark face was
softly lighted； the bend of her head was proud； her grey eyes
clear and dilated； so that the men could not look at her； and
the women were elated by her； they served her。 Very wonderful
she was； as she bade farewell； her ugly wide mouth smiling with
pride and recognition； her voice speaking softly and richly in
the foreign accent； her dilated eyes ignoring one and all the
departing guests。 Her manner was gracious and fascinating； but
she ignored the being of him or her to whom she gave her
hand。
And Brangwen stood beside her； giving his hearty handshake to
his friends； receiving their regard gratefully； glad of their
attention。 His heart was tormented within him； he did not try to
smile。 The time of his trial and his admittance； his Gethsemane
and his Triumphal Entry in one； had e now。
Behind her； there was so much unknown to him。 When he
approached her； he came to such a terrible painful unknown。 How
could he embrace it and fathom it？ How could he close his arms
round all this darkness and hold it to his breast and give
himself to it？ What might not happen to him？ If he stretched and
strained for ever he would never be able to grasp it all； and to
yield himself naked out of his own hands into the unknown power！
How could a man be strong enough to take her； put his arms round
her and have her； and be sure he could conquer this awful
unknown next his heart？ What was it then that she was； to which
he must also deliver himself up； and which at the same time he
must embrace； contain？
He was to be her husband。 It was established so。 And he
wanted it more than he wanted life； or anything。 She stood
beside him in her silk dress； looking at him strangely； so that
a certain terror； horror took possession of him； because she was
strange and impending and he had no choice。 He could not bear to
meet her look from under her strange； thick brows。
〃Is it late？〃 she said。
He looked at his watch。
〃No……half…past eleven；〃 he said。 And he made an excuse
to go into the kitchen； leaving her standing in the room among
the disorder and the drinking…glasses。
Tilly was seated beside the fire in the kitchen； her head in
her hands。 She started up when he entered。
〃Why haven't you gone to bed？〃 he said。
〃I thought I'd better stop an' lock up an' do；〃 she said。 Her
agitation quietened him。 He gave her some little order； then
returned； steadied now； almost ashamed； to his wife。 She stood a
moment watching him； as he moved with averted face。 Then she
said：
〃You will be good to me； won't you？〃
She was small and girlish and terrible； with a queer； wide
look in her eyes。 His heart leaped in him； in anguish of love
and desire； he went b