absorbed in it； a pain went over him like a thin flame。 For he
perceived how he must subdue himself in his approach to her。 And
he wanted again the robust； moral exchange of love and passion
such as he had had at first with her； at one time and another；
when they were matched at their highest intensity。 This was the
one experience for him now。 And he wanted it； always； with
remorseless craving。
She came to him again； with the same lifting of her mouth as
had driven him almost mad with trammelled passion at first。 She
came to him again； and； his heart delirious in delight and
readiness； he took her。 And it was almost as before。
Perhaps it was quite as before。 At any rate； it made him know
perfection； it established in him a constant eternal
knowledge。
But it died down before he wanted it to die down。 She was
finished； she could take no more。 And he was not exhausted； he
wanted to go on。 But it could not be。
So he had to begin the bitter lesson； to abate himself； to
take less than he wanted。 For she was Woman to him； all other
women were her shadows。 For she had satisfied him。 And he wanted
it to go on。 And it could not。 However he raged； and； filled
with suppression that became hot and bitter； hated her in his
soul that she did not want him； however he had mad outbursts；
and drank and made ugly scenes； still he knew； he was only
kicking against the pricks。 It was not； he had to learn； that
she would not want him enough； as much as he demanded that she
should want him。 It was that she could not。 She could only want
him in her own way； and to her own measure。 And she had spent
much life before he found her as she was； the woman who could
take him and give him fulfilment。 She had taken him and given
him fulfilment。 She still could do so； in her own times and
ways。 But he must control himself； measure himself to her。
He wanted to give her all his love； all his passion； all his
essential energy。 But it could not be。 He must find other things
than her； other centres of living。 She sat close and impregnable
with the child。 And he was jealous of the child。
But he loved her； and time came to give some sort of course
to his troublesome current of life； so that it did not foam and
flood and make misery。 He formed another centre of love in her
child； Anna。 Gradually a part of his stream of life was diverted
to the child； relieving the main flood to his wife。 Also he
sought the pany of men； he drank heavily now and again。
The child ceased to have so much anxiety for her mother after
the baby came。 Seeing the mother with the baby boy； delighted
and serene and secure； Anna was at first puzzled； then gradually
she became indignant； and at last her little life settled on its
own swivel； she was no more strained and distorted to support
her mother。 She became more childish； not so abnormal； not
charged with cares she could not understand。 The charge of the
mother； the satisfying of the mother； had devolved elsewhere
than on her。 Gradually the child was freed。 She became an
independent； forgetful little soul； loving from her own
centre。
Of her own choice； she then loved Brangwen most； or most
obviously。 For these two made a little life together； they had a
joint activity。 It amused him； at evening； to teach her to
count； or to say her letters。 He remembered for her all the
little nursery rhymes and childish songs that lay forgotten at
the bottom of his brain。
At first she thought them rubbish。 But he laughed； and she
laughed。 They became to her a huge joke。 Old King Cole she
thought was Brangwen。 Mother Hubbard was Tilly； her mother was
the old woman who lived in a shoe。 It was a huge； it was a
frantic delight to the child； this nonsense； after her years
with her mother； after the poignant folk…tales she had had from
her mother； which always troubled and mystified her soul。
She shared a sort of recklessness with her father； a
plete； chosen carelessness that had the laugh of ridicule in
it。 He loved to make her voice go high and shouting and defiant
with laughter。 The baby was dark…skinned and dark…haired； like
the mother； and had hazel eyes。 Brangwen called him the
blackbird。
〃Hallo；〃 Brangwen would cry； starting as he heard the wail of
the child announcing it wanted to be taken out of the cradle；
〃there's the blackbird tuning up。〃
〃The blackbird's singing；〃 Anna would shout with delight；
〃the blackbird's singing。〃
〃When the pie was opened；〃 Brangwen shouted in his bawling
bass voice； going over to the cradle； 〃the bird began to
sing。〃
〃Wasn't it a dainty dish to set before a king？〃 cried Anna；
her eyes flashing with joy as she uttered the cryptic words；
looking at Brangwen for confirmation。 He sat down with the baby；
saying loudly：
〃Sing up； my lad； sing up。〃
And the baby cried loudly； and Anna shouted lustily； dancing
in wild bliss：
〃Sing a song of sixpence
Pocketful of posies；
Ascha！ Ascha！〃
Then she stopped suddenly in silence and looked at Brangwen
again； her eyes flashing； as she shouted loudly and
delightedly：
〃I've got it wrong； I've got it wrong。〃
〃Oh； my sirs；〃 said Tilly entering； 〃what a racket！〃
Brangwen hushed the child and Anna flipped and danced on。 She
loved her wild bursts of rowdiness with her father。 Tilly hated
it； Mrs。 Brangwen did not mind。
Anna did not care much for other children。 She domineered
them； she treated them as if they were extremely young and
incapable； to her they were little people； they were not her
equals。 So she was mostly alone； flying round the farm；
entertaining the farm…hands and Tilly and the servant…girl；
whirring on and never ceasing。
She loved driving with Brangwen in the trap。 Then； sitting
high up and bowling along； her passion for eminence and
dominance was satisfied。 She was like a little savage in her
arrogance。 She thought her father important； she was installed
beside him on high。 And they spanked along； beside the high；
flourishing hedge…tops； surveying the activity of the
countryside。 When people shouted a greeting to him from the road
below； and Brangwen shouted jovially back； her little voice was
soon heard shrilling along with his； followed by her chuckling
laugh； when she looked up at her father with bright eyes； and
they laughed at each other。 And soon it was the custom for the
passerby to sing out： 〃How are ter； Tom？ Well； my lady！〃 or
else； 〃Mornin'； Tom； mornin'； my Lass！〃 or else； 〃You're off
together then？〃 or else； 〃You're lookin' rarely； you two。〃
Anna would respond； with her father： 〃How are you； John！
Good mornin'； William！ Ay； makin' for Derby；〃 shrilling
as loudly as she could。 Though often； in response to 〃You're off
out a bit then；〃 she would reply； 〃Yes； we are；〃 to the great
joy of all。 She did not like the people who saluted him and did
not salute her。
She went into the public…house with him； if he had to call；
and often sat beside him in the bar…parlour as he drank his beer
or brandy。 The landladies paid court to her； in the obsequious
way landladies have。
〃Well； little lady； an' what's your name？〃
〃Anna Brangwen；〃 came the immediate； haughty answer。
〃Indeed it is！ An' do you like driving in a trap with your
father？〃
〃Yes；〃 said Anna； shy； but bored by these inanities。 She had
a touch…me…not way of blighting the inane inquiries of grown…up
people。
〃My word； she's a fawce little thing；〃 the landlady would say
to Brangwen。
〃Ay；〃 he answered； not encouraging ments on the child。
Then there followed the present of a biscuit； or of cake； which
Anna accepted as her dues。
〃What does she say； that I'm a fawce little thing？〃 the small
girl asked afterwards。
〃She means you're a sharp…shins。〃
Anna hesitated。 She did not understand。 Then she laughed at
some absurdity she found。
Soon he took her every week to market with him。 〃I can e；
can't I？〃 she asked every Saturday； or Thursday morning； when he
made himself look fine in his dress of a gentleman farmer。 And
his face clouded at having to refuse her。
So at last； he overcame his own shyness； and tucked her
beside him。 They drove into Nottingham and put up at the 〃Black
Swan〃。 So far all right。 Then he wanted to