《The Rainbow-虹(英文版)》

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The Rainbow-虹(英文版)- 第60节


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But it was too great a shock for her。 With a sudden horrible
movement she ruptured the state that contained them both。

〃Don't……don't!〃

It was a rather horrible cry that seemed to e out of her;
not to belong to her。 It was some strange agony of terror crying
out the words。 There was something vibrating and beside herself
in the noise。 His nerves ripped like silk。

〃What's the matter?〃 he said; as if calmly。 〃What's the
matter?〃

She came back to him; but trembling; reservedly this
time。

Her cry had given him gratification。 But he knew he had been
too sudden for her。 He was now careful。 For a while he merely
sheltered her。 Also there had broken a flaw into his perfect
will。 He wanted to persist; to begin again; to lead up to the
point where he had let himself go on her; and then manage more
carefully; successfully。 So far she had won。 And the battle was
not over yet。 But another voice woke in him and prompted him to
let her go……let her go in contempt。

He sheltered her; and soothed her; and caressed her; and
kissed her; and again began to e nearer; nearer。 He gathered
himself together。 Even if he did not take her; he would make her
relax; he would fuse away her resistance。 So softly; softly;
with infinite caressiveness he kissed her; and the whole of his
being seemed to fondle her。 Till; at the verge; swooning at the
breaking point; there came from her a beaten; inarticulate;
moaning cry:

〃Don't……oh; don't!〃

His veins fused with extreme voluptuousness。 For a moment he
almost lost control of himself; and continued automatically。 But
there was a moment of inaction; of cold suspension。 He was not
going to take her。 He drew her to him and soothed her; and
caressed her。 But the pure zest had gone。 She struggled to
herself and realized he was not going to take her。 And then; at
the very last moment; when his fondling had e near again; his
hot living desire despising her; against his cold sensual
desire; she broke violently away from him。

〃Don't;〃 she cried; harsh now with hatred; and she flung her
hand across and hit him violently。 〃Keep off of me。〃

His blood stood still for a moment。 Then the smile came again
within him; steady; cruel。

〃Why; what's the matter?〃 he said; with suave irony。
〃Nobody's going to hurt you。〃

〃I know what you want;〃 she said。

〃I know what I want;〃 he said。 〃What's the odds?〃

〃Well; you're not going to have it off me。〃

〃Aren't I? Well; then I'm not。 It's no use crying about it;
is it?〃

〃No; it isn't;〃 said the girl; rather disconcerted by his
irony。

〃But there's no need to have a row about it。 We can kiss good
night just the same; can't we?〃

She was silent in the darkness。

〃Or do you want your hat and umbrella to go home this
minute?〃

Still she was silent。 He watched her dark figure as she stood
there on the edge of the faint darkness; and he waited。

〃e and say good night nicely; if we're going to say it;〃
he said。

Still she did not stir。 He put his hand out and drew her into
the darkness again。

〃It's warmer in here;〃 he said; 〃a lot cosier。〃

His will had not yet relaxed from her。 The moment of hatred
exhilarated him。

〃I'm going now;〃 she muttered; as he closed his hand over
her。

〃See how well you fit your place;〃 he said; as he drew her to
her previous position; close upon him。 〃What do you want to
leave it for?〃

And gradually the intoxication invaded him again; the zest
came back。 After all; why should he not take her?

But she did not yield to him entirely。

〃Are you a married man?〃 she asked at length。

〃What if I am?〃 he said。

She did not answer。

〃I don't ask you whether you're married or not;〃 he
said。

〃You know jolly well I'm not;〃 she answered hotly。 Oh;
if she could only break away from him; if only she need not
yield to him。

At length her will became cold against him。 She had escaped。
But she hated him for her escape more than for her danger。 Did
he despise her so coldly? And she was in torture of adherence to
him still。

〃Shall I see you next week……next Saturday?〃 he said; as
they returned to the town。 She did not answer。

〃e to the Empire with me……you and Gertie;〃 he
said。

〃I should look well; going with a married man;〃 she said。

〃I'm no less of a man for being married; am I?〃 he said。

〃Oh; it's a different matter altogether with a married man;〃
she said; in a ready…made speech that showed her chagrin。

〃How's that?〃 he asked。

But she would not enlighten him。 Yet she promised; without
promising; to be at the meeting…place next Saturday evening。

So he left her。 He did not know her name。 He caught a train
and went home。

It was the last train; he was very late。 He was not home till
midnight。 But he was quite indifferent。 He had no real relation
with his home; not this man which he now was。 Anna was sitting
up for him。 She saw the queer; absolved look on his face; a sort
of latent; almost sinister smile; as if he were absolved from
his 〃good〃 ties。

〃Where have you been?〃 she asked; puzzled; interested。

〃To the Empire。〃

〃Who with?〃

〃By myself。 I came home with Tom Cooper。〃

She looked at him; and wondered what he had been doing She
was indifferent as to whether he lied or not。

〃You have e home very strange;〃 she said。 And there was an
appreciative inflexion in the speech。

He was not affected。 As for his humble; good self; he was
absolved from it。 He sat down and ate heartily。 He was not
tired。 He seemed to take no notice of her。

For Anna the moment was critical。 She kept herself aloof; and
watched him。 He talked to her; but with a little indifference;
since he was scarcely aware of her。 So; then she did not affect
him。 Here was a new turn of affairs! He was rather attractive;
nevertheless。 She liked him better than the ordinary mute;
half…effaced; half…subdued man she usually knew him to be。 So;
he was blossoming out into his real self! It piqued her。 Very
good; let him blossom! She liked a new turn of affairs。 He was a
strange man e home to her。 Glancing at him; she saw she could
not reduce him to what he had been before。 In an instant she
gave it up。 Yet not without a pang of rage; which would insist
on their old; beloved love; their old; accustomed intimacy and
her old; established supremacy。 She almost rose up to fight for
them。 And looking at him; and remembering his father; she was
wary。 This was the new turn of affairs!

Very good; if she could not influence him in the old way; she
would be level with him in the new。 Her old defiant hostility
came up。 Very good; she too was out on her own adventure。 Her
voice; her manner changed; she was ready for the game。 Something
was liberated in her。 She liked him。 She liked this strange man
e home to her。 He was very wele; indeed! She was very glad
to wele a stranger。 She had been bored by the old husband。 To
his latent; cruel smile she replied with brilliant challenge。 He
expected her to keep the moral fortress。 Not she! It was much
too dull a part。 She challenged him back with a sort of
radiance; very bright and free; opposite to him。 He looked at
her; and his eyes glinted。 She too was out in the field。

His senses pricked up and keenly attended to her。 She
laughed; perfectly indifferent and loose as he was。 He came
towards her。 She neither rejected him nor responded to him。 In a
kind of radiance; superb in her inscrutability; she laughed
before him。 She too could throw everything overboard; love;
intimacy; responsibility。 What were her four children to her
now? What did it matter that this man was the father of her four
children?

He was the sensual male seeking his pleasure; she was the
female ready to take hers: but in her own way。 A man could turn
into a free lance: so then could a woman。 She adhered as little
as he to the moral world。 All that had gone before was nothing
to her。 She was another woman; under the instance of a strange
man。 He was a stranger to her; seeking his own ends。 Very good。
She wanted to see what this stranger would do now; what he
was。

She laughed; and kept him at arm's length; whilst apparently
ignoring him。 She watched him undress as if he were a stranger。
Indeed he was a stranger t
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