behave more like gentlemen to the girls of Cossethay。 Indeed；
what kind of boy was it that should set upon a girl； and kick
her； and beat her； and tear her pinafore？ That boy deserved
severe castigation； and the name of coward； for no boy
who was not a coward……etc。； etc。〃
Meanwhile much hang…dog fury in the Pillinses' hearts； much
virtue in the Brangwen girls'； particularly in Theresa's。 And
the feud continued； with periods of extraordinary amity； when
Ursula was Clem Phillips's sweetheart； and Gudrun was Walter's；
and Theresa was Billy's； and even the tiny Katie had to be Eddie
Ant'ny's sweetheart。 There was the closest union。 At every
possible moment the little gang of Brangwens and Phillipses flew
together。 Yet neither Ursula nor Gudrun would have any real
intimacy with the Phillips boys。 It was a sort of fiction to
them； this alliance and this dubbing of sweethearts。
Again Mrs。 Brangwen rose up。
〃Ursula； I will not have you raking the roads with
lads； so I tell you。 Now stop it； and the rest will stop
it。〃
How Ursula hated always to represent the little
Brangwen club。 She could never be herself； no； she was always
Ursula…Gudrun…Theresa…Catherine……and later even Billy was
added on to her。 Moreover； she did not want the Phillipses
either。 She was out of taste with them。
However； the Brangwen…Pillins coalition readily broke down；
owing to the unfair superiority of the Brangwens。 The Brangwens
were rich。 They had free access to the Marsh Farm。 The school
teachers were almost respectful to the girls； the vicar spoke to
them on equal terms。 The Brangwen girls presumed； they tossed
their heads。
〃You're not ivrybody； Urtler Brangwin； ugly…mug；〃 said
Clem Phillips； his face going very red。
〃I'm better than you； for all that；〃 retorted Urtler。
〃You think you are……wi' a face like
that……Ugly Mug；……Urtler Brangwin；〃 he began to jeer；
trying to set all the others in cry against her。 Then there was
hostility again。 How she hated their jeering。 She became
cold against the Phillipses。 Ursula was very proud in her
family。 The Brangwen girls had all a curious blind dignity； even
a kind of nobility in their bearing。 By some result of breed and
upbringing； they seemed to rush along their own lives without
caring that they existed to other people。 Never from the start
did it occur to Ursula that other people might hold a low
opinion of her。 She thought that whosoever knew her； knew she
was enough and accepted her as such。 She thought it was a world
of people like herself。 She suffered bitterly if she were forced
to have a low opinion of any person； and she never forgave that
person。
This was maddening to many little people。 All their lives；
the Brangwens were meeting folk who tried to pull them down to
make them seem little。 Curiously； the mother was aware of what
would happen； and was always ready to give her children the
advantage of the move。
When Ursula was twelve； and the mon school and the
panionship of the village children； niggardly and begrudging；
was beginning to affect her； Anna sent her with Gudrun to the
Grammar School in Nottingham。 This was a great release for
Ursula。 She had a passionate craving to escape from the
belittling circumstances of life； the little jealousies； the
little differences； the little meannesses。 It was a torture to
her that the Phillipses were poorer and meaner than herself；
that they used mean little reservations； took petty little
advantages。 She wanted to be with her equals： but not by
diminishing herself。 She did want Clem Phillips to be her
equal。 But by some puzzling； painful fate or other； when he was
really there with her； he produced in her a tight feeling in the
head。 She wanted to beat her forehead； to escape。
Then she found that the way to escape was easy。 One departed
from the whole circumstance。 One went away to the Grammar
School； and left the little school； the meagre teachers； the
Phillipses whom she had tried to love but who had made her fail；
and whom she could not forgive。 She had an instinctive fear of
petty people； as a deer is afraid of dogs。 Because she was
blind； she could not calculate nor estimate people。 She must
think that everybody was just like herself。
She measured by the standard of her own people： her father
and mother； her grandmother； her uncles。 Her beloved father； so
utterly simple in his demeanour； yet with his strong； dark soul
fixed like a root in unexpressed depths that fascinated and
terrified her： her mother； so strangely free of all money and
convention and fear； entirely indifferent to the world； standing
by herself； without connection： her grandmother； who had e
from so far and was centred in so wide an horizon： people must
e up to these standards before they could be Ursula's
people。
So even as a girl of twelve she was glad to burst the narrow
boundary of Cossethay； where only limited people lived。 Outside；
was all vastness； and a throng of real； proud people whom she
would love。
Going to school by train； she must leave home at a quarter to
eight in the morning； and she did not arrive again till
half…past five at evening。 Of this she was glad； for the house
was small and overful。 It was a storm of movement； whence there
had been no escape。 She hated so much being in charge。
The house was a storm of movement。 The children were healthy
and turbulent； the mother only wanted their animal well…being。
To Ursula； as she grew a little older； it became a nightmare。
When she saw； later； a Rubens picture with storms of naked
babies； and found this was called 〃Fecundity〃； she shuddered；
and the world became abhorrent to her。 She knew as a child what
it was to live amidst storms of babies； in the heat and swelter
of fecundity。 And as a child； she was against her mother；
passionately against her mother； she craved for some
spirituality and stateliness。
In bad weather； home was a bedlam。 Children dashed in and out
of the rain； to the puddles under the dismal yew trees； across
the wet flagstones of the kitchen； whilst the cleaning…woman
grumbled and scolded； children were swarming on the sofa；
children were kicking the piano in the parlour； to make it sound
like a beehive； children were rolling on the hearthrug； legs in
air； pulling a book in two between them； children； fiendish；
ubiquitous； were stealing upstairs to find out where our Ursula
was； whispering at bedroom doors； hanging on the latch； calling
mysteriously； 〃Ursula！ Ursula！〃 to the girl who had locked
herself in to read。 And it was hopeless。 The locked door excited
their sense of mystery； she had to open to dispel the lure。
These children hung on to her with round…eyed excited
questions。
The mother flourished amid all this。
〃Better have them noisy than ill；〃 she said。
But the growing girls； in turn； suffered bitterly。 Ursula was
just ing to the stage when Andersen and Grimm were being left
behind for the 〃Idylls of the King〃 and romantic
love…stories。
〃Elaine the fair Elaine the lovable；
Elaine the lily maid of Astolat；
High in her chamber in a tower to the east
Guarded the sacred shield of Launcelot。〃
How she loved it！ How she leaned in her bedroom window with
her black； rough hair on her shoulders； and her warm face all
rapt； and gazed across at the churchyard and the little church；
which was a turreted castle； whence Launcelot would ride just
now； would wave to her as he rode by； his scarlet cloak passing
behind the dark yew trees and between the open space： whilst
she； ah； she； would remain the lonely maid high up and isolated
in the tower； polishing the terrible shield； weaving it a
covering with a true device； and waiting； waiting； always remote
and high。
At which point there would be a faint scuffle on the stairs；
a light…pitched whispering outside the door； and a creaking of
the latch： then Billy； excited； whispering：
〃It's locked……it's locked。〃
Then the knocking； kicking at the door with childish knees；
and the urgent； childish：
〃Ursula……our Ursula？ Ursula？ Eh； our Ursula？〃
No reply。
〃Ursula！ Eh……our Ursula？〃 the name was shouted now Still
no answer。
〃Mother； she won't answer；〃 came the yell。 〃She's dea