of Folgers crystals on the counter。 Dan sat down at the worn Formica table and sank his head in
his hands。
？What do you mean you ？started a salon？？？ she demanded； totally ignoring the gay part of the
equation。 ？You？re Mr。 Never Get a Real Haircut。What do you know about salons？？
Dan had to smile。 ？No； a literary salon。 Asa lon；？ he repeated with the correct intonation。 He
stopped smiling。 God； he sounded gay。 ？There were lots of pretty girls at our first meeting； and
they were kissing each other too。？ He frowned； totally confused。 ？But I kissed Greg。？
Vanessa microwaved a pitcher of water and poured it out into two mismatched mugs； stirring in
spoonfuls of instant coffee。 She took a sip and made a face。 Christ； Folgers fucking tasted like dog
piss after all the amazing coffee she？d been drinking in the Hamptons。
？So let me get this straight。？ She took another sip of the acrid coffee and looked across the room；
past the mountain of unwashed dishes and the bowl of deposing bananas to the rickety stool
where Dan was perched miserably。 ？No pun intended。？
？Ha；？ Dan said joylessly。
？So 。 。 。 you？re gay。 You。 Dan Humphrey。 Gay。 Not gay happy…gay。 Gay…gay。 Gay；
I…like…to…kiss…boys gay。？Vanessa raised her dark eyebrows doubtfully。
？I wouldn？t exactly say Ilike to kiss boys。？ Dan frowned。 ？But I did。？
Jesus。 She？d only been gone three days and Dan had already met someone else。 Girl； boy；
monkey。 It just seemed kind of fast。 ？Well； I ate a salad once。 Doesn？t mean I？m a vegetarian。？
？It？s not that simple。 I got a postcard from Jenny that said my mom said I used to wear dresses
when I was a kid。？ Dan ran his fingers through his hair； inadvertently destroying the cigarette he？d
tucked behind his ear only a few minutes before。 ？Shit。？
？It kind ofis simple； Dan。 Look； you？re either gay or you？re not。 Or 。 。 。？ Vanessa paused；
considering this third option。 ？You？re bi。 Maybe that？s what it is。You？re just 。 。 。 exploring。
Discovering yourself。？
？Do you think so？？ Dan？s face brightened momentarily。 ？I mean； Greg？s nice。 We like the same
things。 But last night； when he was here； it totally freaked me out。 And I didn？t kiss him again。 I
just couldn？t。？
Part of Vanessa still wanted to be annoyed Dan had been kissing someone else while she had
been；ew； considering Chuck Bass as a substitute for Dan； but she couldn？t help but be moved by
his pathetic state of total confusion。 The little furrow in his brow looked like it had been there for
days； and the defeated slope of his shoulders made her want to carry him to his room and tuck him
in like a baby。 And then do it with him。
But she brushed that thought aside for a moment。 Dan was gay； or maybe bi。 But he？d also been
a lot of other things at different times： a toast…of…the…town literary sensation； a one…night…only rock
god； a rebellious senior graduation speaker； a fitness freak。 Now he was gay。 It couldn？t possibly
last longer than any of his other phases； and when he got tired of being gay or he realized that
being gay would mean actually kissing guys and not girls？her in particular？well； she？d be in the
bedroom right next door。
？Look； Dan。？ Vanessa poured the rest of her bitter coffee into the crowded sink and left her mug
on the countertop。 ？You need to stop being so hard on yourself。 I mean； there？s nothingwrong with
being gay； is there？？
？Of course not！ Thomas Mann was gay。 And he won the Nobel Prize。？
？Right。？ Vanessa grinned； pleased to hear Dan sounding a little more like himself。 So predictable；
so easily influenced。 Let him get this gay stuff out of his system； she could wait。 ？So 。。。I？d love to
meet this Greg guy。？
？Yeah？？ Dan responded skeptically。 ？Really？？
？Yeah。？ Vanessa squeezed his shoulder。 Now that Dan was gay； she could do things like sit on his
lap； right？ She decided to try it。 ？Really；？ she added； perching on Dan？s bony knee。 Dan slipped
his arms around her waist and buried his nose between her shoulder blades。
？Thanks；？ he said； his voice muffled。 ？You？re my hero。？
Hey； maybe he reallyis gay。
nice e…mail address； buddy 。 。 。
TO： Song of Myself
FROM： Greg P。
Re： Song of Myself？s Next Meeting！
Dear Friends；
I hope you enjoyed getting together as much as I did。 I？m happy to report that our first
get…together has already resulted in some burgeoning romances？a happy consequence of bringing
together so many like…minded creative individuals。 I hope we can continue to inspire and excite
one another at all ourmeetings！
For our next get…together； please bring along your favorite work of Shakespeare and we？ll take
turns reading aloud。 You show me yours and I？ll show you mine！
Yours in love and iambic pentameter；
Greg
on the road again
？Pull over！？
？What？？ The one disadvantage of his dad？s convertible was that it made having a conversation
while driving almost impossible。 Nate turned to see Blair frantically pointing at a sign announcing
one of those cheesy scenic overlooks where a couple of minivans were already parked along the
shoulder。
Bo…ring。
？You want me to stop？？ Nate had already slowed and was pulling over。 He knew better than to
argue with Blair。
？It？ll be funny。？ Blair dug into her hastily packed Coach straw carryall and unearthed a digital
camera。 ？I swiped it from Serena？s house。 I hope she？s not too pissed。？
Nate frowned at the mention of Serena？s name。 He was still feeling a little guilty about sneaking
out of Serena？s place without saying goodbye？and on her birthday。 Blair had persuaded him that
Serena wouldn？t have wanted a morning wake…up call； birthday or no birthday； and chances were
she hadn？t gone to bed alone anyway。 And it was her house； so it wasn？t like they？d just ditched
her in the middle of nowhere。
Whatever you need to tell yourself。
Before Nate had even turned off the car； Blair had already slipped out of her seat and skipped
toward the low stone wall that separated the parking area from the dramatic drop…off into a deep；
tree…lined valley below。 She was wearing the tiniest white shorts he had ever seen； and they made
her legs look ridiculously touchable。 She hopped up onto the wall and pouted her lips。
？Take a picture！？
Grinning and horny all over again； Nate fumbled with his seat belt and burst out of the car；
willing himself not to run over to the stone wall and stick his hands down her tiny shorts。 He took
the camera from Blair？s outstretched hand instead。 ？Say cheese。？
Blair stuck out her tongue and crossed her eyes。
？Gorgeous。？ Nate laughed at tan； happy； beautiful Blair on the little LCD screen。
Blair patted the wall next to her。 ？Take one of both of us together。？
Nate clambered up on the wall and held the camera out in front of them。 Blair pressed her
smooth cheek against his。 The smell of her made him feel lightheaded； and he put his free hand
out to steady himself。
Careful there； slugger。
？I want our whole summer to be just like this。？ Blair slipped her arm through his and
sighed。 ？The two of us； alone on the open sea。 No people； no worries。 It？ll be perfect。？ Just like in
the movie set on constant replay in her mind。
Nate nodded。 ？I can？t wait to get out on the water。？ The mental image of Blair in her bikini；
lolling about on the deck of theCharlotte； swept over him。 It was happening at last。 The real
summer he was meant to have was beginning？ and everything was falling into place。 Driving
northeast in that the serene summer afternoon toward the ocean； toward freedom； with Blair right
next to him 。 。 。 Nate could feel the weight of all his past mistakes lift off of his shoulders。 He had
never swiped from his coach？s stash of Viagra； he had never had his diploma withheld； he had
never hooked up with Tawny； he had never rubbed ointment on Babs？s tattoo。 He had just spent
the night with Blair； and he was about to spend the rest of the summer with her and maybe the rest
of his life。 All was as it should be with the universe。
？Okay。 Time to drive。？ It was almost like Blair was reading his mind。 She