into Bailey Winter？s expansive yard before Chuck had stepped into her path and started clucking
at her。 His pet snow monkey； Sweetie； was perched on his shoulder； wearing a sequined sailor
outfit； bobbing up and down on its hind legs and tugging at the collar of Chuck？s pale pink Hugo
Boss polo。 It occurred to Vanessa that Sweetie was quite possibly using it as toilet paper。
？Oh； hey； Chuck。？ She vaguely remembered that this guy was bad news？Dan didn？t like him for
some reason； and she？d heard people gossip about him； although you couldn？t ever really trust
that。
Is that a fact？
？You just missed the show； honey。？ Chuck popped his polo collar back into place and smiled
insinuatingly。 ？Blair and Serena； up to their old tricks。？
？Thank God they？re here。？ Vanessa released an audible sigh of relief。 After all； she？d e
specifically to see them； following a hot tip from the nanny next door； a svelte Irish girl named
Siobhan who； despite being a servant like Vanessa； seemed to be at the center of the Hamptons
social scene。 She felt moderately self…conscious about her outfit？ actual black capri pants that she
hadn？t just cut off herself and a simple black cotton shell she？d bought at Club Monaco just
before leaving for Amagansett？but she figured it would be okay since her friends were here。
？Theywere； darling。？ Chuck was distractedly checking his text messages。 ？You totally missed it。
Hurricane Blair left some real damage in her wake。？
Behind him the scene was pandemonium： a deeply tanned near…midget was kneeling by the edge
of the swimming pool crying hysterically； while a thick crowd of gorgeous gay men moved further
and further away from him。 Standing nearby； in the middle of some orange…splattered white
pillows； were two very familiar girls。 ？But isn？t that？？
？Blair and Serena？ Don？t be fooled； darling。 Total impostors。 Look closely。？ Chuck went back to
texting in his BlackBerry。
Vanessa looked again and realized that Chuck was right？the brunette and blonde she？d first taken
for Blair and Serena were not quite as pretty or healthy…looking as the originals。 The fact that their
once…white outfits were both marred by sloppy； barfy…looking stains further cemented it。 She
squinted at them； realizing they were the faux versions she？d seen on the beach only hours before。
Just what she needed？a reminder of her horrible after…noon with the terror twins。 The rest of their
time at the beach had been uneventful enough； but the moment they returned to the house； Ms。
Morgan had dug into her about what SPF she？d used on the boys； what books they？d read； and
how she？d really prefer Vanessa not ruin their dinner with Cheez…Its。 Vanessa had nodded patiently；
then raced to her upstairs room and quickly changed into something relatively presentable。 Then
she？d dashed out of the house and into the night； refusing to let the minor fact that she didn？t have
either a driver？s license or a car get in her way。 She？d grabbed one of the twins？ tiny bicycles
from the hook from which it was suspended and pedaled toward civilization； figuring that it would
only be a matter of time before she came across someone who could direct her to where Blair and
Serena might be。 Luckily； she？d bumped into Siobhan after about one block。
？Do you know where they went？？ Vanessa turned to see Chuck Bass disappearing into the crowd；
his hand raised high above his head to avoid spilling his drink。
Great。 No Blair； no Serena； and now； no Chuck。 Vanessa had a vision of herself alone； shivering
on the beach； trying to avoid the perverts and murderous models。
Just another night in East Hampton。
Well； there？s only one cure for a lonely night； Vanessa reasoned as she dove into the crowd；
slipping through a trio of shirtless musclemen； making a beeline for？where else？？ the bar。
？Vodka martini。？ She smiled at the bartender； giving him her best yes…I？m…on…the…guest…list look。
She almost never drank； but holding a martini might give her a new outlook on life。
The bartender went right to work and smoothly handed over a glass。 Clutching the stem； Vanessa
turned back into the crowd； unsure who to talk to。 There was Chuck； laughing as he made small
talk with a very tall man； and there were the two impostors from the beach； frowning and
pathetically dabbing at their stained outfits with damp napkins。
Tough choice。
Vanessa wove through a thicket of linen…pants…clad types； heading toward the edge of the
pool。 ？We meet again；？ she offered by way of introduction。 ？I？m Vanessa。？
The blond girl stared at her dumbly through her tear…blurred slightly crossed eyes。
？You again。？ The faux Blair glared at her。 ？We must go change。？ The girl grabbed her friend？s
hand and started walking away from Vanessa。 ？Maybe you should also change。？
Vanessa resisted the urge to pitch her drink at the girl？s bucktoothed face。
Sliding off her flip…flops； she took a seat and dangled her feet into the aqua…colored water。 She
sipped her martini nervously； trying to drink her way through that horrible
I？m…at…a…party…and…no…one…is…talking…to…me shame。 Then she glanced at her watch； fiddled with
her outfit； and stared at the placid surface of the swimming pool； pretending to be engrossed in
each task。
？Yooo…hooo。 Excuse me； dear。？
Had someone called security？
Vanessa turned oh…so…casually to e face…to…face with Bailey Winter himself； the gaytastic
designer she？d crossed paths with on the set ofBreakfast at Fred？s the day before she was
exmunicated； and the host of the party she just happened to be crashing。
？Hi！？ She smiled enthusiastically； hoping to make him forget he hadn？t invited her to his soir？e。
？Oh dear。？ The designer produced a floral…printed silk hankie from the breast pocket of his navy
blue linen blazer and dabbed at his red eyes with the tip of it。 ？I？m all at sixes and sevens。 My
cushions； you see？they？re ruined。？
Vanessa frowned at the booze…stained ivory cushions perched at the edge of the pool。 ？That？s too
bad。？
？Oh； every cloud has a silver lining； honey；？ he announced dramatically； his tears spontaneously
drying up。 ？And dare I say； I think you are positively sterling！ Who are you and where did you
e from？ You？re just the most delicious little thing。？ Still clutching his handkerchief； Bailey
Winter reached up and caressed Vanessa？s cheek。
Silk and snot。 How lovely。
？I？m； um； looking for some friends of mine。 Blair and Serena？？
？Yes； those two vixens； well； who knows where they？ve gone off to？and who cares！？ He gripped
her upper arm tightly with his small hand。 ？You？re what I？ve been looking for。You？re the newnew
new look。 At last！？
？Excuse me？？ Vanessa wanted to back away； but if she did； she？d fall into the pool。
？You must stay with me this summer；？ he continued； enraptured。 ？Your energy； your profile；
your 。 。 。 baldness。 They？re positively inspiring！ Say you will； my dear。 Spend the night。 At least
one night。 Please。 Don？t make Uncle Bailey beg；？
？Stay here？？ Vanessa surveyed the scene once more： a modern glass…and…concrete mansion； a
glittering blue pool； hundreds of perfectly dressed and groomed men； chilled martinis？it was like a
Fellini film； if Fellini had ever made a movie about summer in the Hamptons。 She felt a surge of
creativity that almost took her breath away。 Of course！ A movie； in the Hamptons！ An
impressionistic documentary； inter…splicing party footage with first…person interviews；
documenting the creative process of one of the fashion industry？s leading forces。 It was a little bit
Robert Altman； a little bitGrey Gardens。 Not to mention that it beat the shit out of booger patrol at
the James…Morgans？。 ？Stay here；？ she repeated； nodding slowly。 ？Why； yes。 I？dlove to。？
She would？
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ABC Amber LIT Converter v2。02
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Disclaimer： All the real names of places； people； and events have been altered or abbreviated to
protect the innocent。 Namely； me。
hey people！
Okay； so I know I already interrupted your regularly scheduled programming for an important
m