directions from his head。
？I？ve been feeling really； really good about myself since I heard from Harvard；？ the practically
naked； dreadlocked Aaron told the camera。 ？I mean； I used to be this skinny kid with braces and
frizzy hair； and now I？m； like； theking 。 It totally rocks！？
Good for you； dude。 Good for you。
Behind them； the timer on the oven went off。 ？I sound like an asshole；？ Aaron observed casually
as he headed back into the kitchen。 ？But you can use it。 I don？t mind。？
Vanessa went back to Blair？s segment； watching it over and over and trying to edit it in such a
way that Blair wouldn？t sound totally demonic。 Maybe Blair didn？t have Nate anymore； but she
had gotten into Yale in the end。 As she scrolled over and over through the footage in her film；
listening to her classmates？ and peers？ hilariously self…absorbed statements and sad truths； she
grew more and more reticent about missing graduation。 Not that she was actually into group hugs
or white dresses； but it seemed kind ofwrong to miss out on the one day she？d been waiting for
since she started at Constance Billard in ninth grade。
Like hooking up with two guys on the same daywasn？t wrong？
Professor Pierre Papadametriou
English Dept。； The Evergreen State College
2700 Evergreen Parkway NW
Olympia； WA 98505
Daniel Humphrey
815 West End Avenue； Apt。 8D
New York； NY 10024
Dear Daniel Humphrey；
I was so excited with hiring you for my summer assistant； I forgot to tell you the subject of my
book： sex poems。 I mean； poems that are about making sex through the ages； which is interesting
to me because I teach poetry and biology； and I am Greek！ The book has no title yet but maybe
you will help me think of a good one！ I also did not explain that you will live in my small home
with my two dogs； Plato and Plato Jr。； and my son； Mick； because Evergreen does not allow
students to move in until orientation in end of August。 Hammock in attic is fixed； so e！ We
will make a good time with Micky？s homemade ouzo！
Sincerely；
Pierre
D chooses real sex over sex poems
Dan sat in the back of AP English class； his hands trembling as he reread the letter。 Professor
Papadametriou sounded like a nice man； and he？d probably make a good advisor。 Dan could
totally picture enjoying a few glasses of wine in the professor？s home while he talked about the
fall of Troy and his son stuffed grape leaves or whatever。 The thing was； Dan didn？t want to go to
Evergreen at all anymore。
？Dan； could you enlighten us as to who the narrator is in this poem？？ Ms。 Solomon asked。 She
was wearing a tight black lace mini tank dress； her nearly translucent； thin； spidery arms and bony
legs poking out of it； making her look like a cartoon witch in a Halloween TV special。 She wound
a strand of mousy dark blond hair around her index finger； a gesture she probably thought was
irresistible to Dan。 Ms。 Solomon had a serious crush on him； and whenever she suspected he
wasn？t paying attention in class； she stomped her feet like a petulant child and asked him a
question； demanding his attention。
He wasn？t even sure which poem she was talking about； although he knew it was Robert Frost；
and he？d memorized most of Frost。
？It？s either the guy or the horse；？ Dan answered mechanically without even looking up。
？Thanks； Stormfield；？ Ms。 Solomon cracked sarcastically。
？Even I could do better than that；？ Chuck Bass jeered from the front of the room； where he？d
decided to sit every day up until the final exam； in his last…ditch effort to get better than a D in
English。 Chuck was wearing orange…and…white plaid Bermuda shorts； a white polo shirt； white
patent leather shoes； and a matching white patent leather belt。 It was the sort of outfit a Park
Avenue mom would dress her three…year…old son in for church； only Chuck had chosen the outfit
himself。 Sweetie sat in Chuck？s lap； wearing a tiny rhinestone tiara。
Dan shrugged。 He was beyond Chuck？s nasty wisecracks； and beyond Ms。 Solomon？s insolent
crush。 Way beyond。 In fact； right now he was so consumed with love for Vanessa； he wasn？t sure
what to do with himself。
Uh…oh。
On the subway he？d started writing his graduation speech； modeling it after all the stupid
graduation speeches he？d heard in movies。We are the future。 The ticket to a successful life is a
good education。 The world awaits us with all it has to teach 。 But that had been before he and
Vanessa had sex on her roof。 Now he was pretty sure he was changing the topic。 For how could he
not write aboutlove？
Double uh…oh。
He glanced down at the letter again； picked up his chewed…on black Paper Mate pen； and turned
to a clean sheet of paper in his loose…leaf binder。
Dear Professor Papadametriou；
Thank you for offering me the opportunity to work with you this summer。 However； something
has e up and I will not be able to accept the position。 I would very much like to meet you and
your dogs and your son sometime。 Until then； good luck； and good luck with your book。
All the best；
Daniel Humphrey
P。 S。 I？ve enclosed a poem you might want to include in your book。
He turned to another fresh page。
view from the roof
The view is better from up here。
See her factories； her rivers。
If her hills weren？t in the way
I could see into the windows of the apartment across the street。
See a woman pouring milk as she sets the table for dinner。
Oh there。 There？s the table。 There。
I can see everything from here。
There。 Yes。 Right there。
Dan wasn？t sure if he really had the guts to send such a sexually explicit poem to a professor
he？d never even met； but it would be cool if Professor Papadametriou actually used the poem in
his book。
Ms。 Solomon sat down at her desk and rested her pointy； unpleasant chin in her hands； looking
pletely defeated because she？d worn her sexiest dress just for Dan and he？d barely looked at
her for the last forty minutes。
？I？d like you to open your notebooks and take the last ten minutes of class to write whatever you
feel like writing；？ she instructed with unusual generosity。 Normally she droned on about
Wordsworth or some other dead poet until five minutes after the bell had rung； driving the boys
apeshit。 Dan took the opportunity to get started on a new graduation speech。
Ladies and gentlemen； we are gathered here today to celebrate the end of the first chapter in our
lives and the beginning of the second。 We already know what es next。 Four years of college；
and then another graduation。 But whoop…dee…doo！ Now is the time to be inlove。 ？
Whoop…dee…doo？ Triple； super…duper uh…oh。
who？s that boy？
Senior homeroom was last period on Tuesday in the Constance Billard senior lounge； a
windowless room above the library that had been a storage area until it was given to the seniors as
a place to relax and escape from all the underclassmen。 No teacher was present； which meant that
none of the girls were paying any attention to Mimi Halperin； the perky but lame president of the
senior class； as she made announcements about senior privileges during exam week。
？No uniforms all week； girls。 And we only have to e to school for our exams。 Awesome；
huh？？ Mimi clapped her chubby hands together and pushed her thick black hair behind her
weirdly small ears。 The other girls yawned and looked at their watches； eager to leave so they
could continue their quest for the perfect graduation dress or work on their tans。 Mimi had been
the class clown and everyone？s buddy way back in third grade； but now that they were all grown
up； no one thought she was funny。 Still； they？d voted for her for president at the end of junior year
because she was the only one who seemed to want to do it。 Because it went on your transcript for
college； class president was a coveted position； up until senior year。 The class president had to
attend weekly student council meetings at 7：30A。M 。 and help out at all the school functions； like
the book fair and the scholarship fund drive。 It was a lot of work； and now that it was the end of
senior year and everyone was alr