en expected our devotion and support。 He played favorites and； in fact； it even seemed he played us off against one another。 He then got suckered into something he could not handle and left the kingdom in a mess。 Sigmund Freud had long ago anesthetized me to any normal； generalized feelings of resentment which might operate within the family unit。 I have no quarrel on those grounds。 Facts are another matter。 I did not dislike my father simply because he had given me no reason to like him； in truth； it seemed that he had labored in the other direction。 Enough。 I realized what it was that bothered me about the notion of duty： its object。
〃You are right；〃 I said； opening my eyes； regarding her； 〃and I am glad that you told me of it。〃
I rose。
〃Give me your hand；〃 I said。
She extended her right hand and I raised it to my lips。
〃Thank you；〃 I said。 〃It was a good lunch。〃
I turned and made my way to the door。 When I looked back she had blushed and was smiling； her hand still partly raised； and I began to understand the change in Random。
〃Good luck to you；〃 she said； the moment my footsteps ceased。
〃。。。 And you；〃 I said； and went out quickly。
***
I had been planning to see Brand next； but just could not bring myself to do it。 For one thing； I did not want to encounter him with my wits dulled by fatigue。 For another； talking with Vialle was the first pleasant thing which had happened to me in some time； and just this once I was going to quit while I was ahead。
I mounted the stairs and walked the corridor to my room； thinking； of course； of the night of the knifings as I fitted my new key to my new lock。 In my bedchamber； I drew the drapes against the afternoon's light； undressed； and got into bed。 As on other occasions of rest after stress with more stress pending； sleep eluded me for a time。 For a long while I tossed and twisted； reliving events of the past several days and some from even farther back。 When finally I slept； my dreams were an amalgam of the same material； including a spell in my old cell； scraping away at the door。
It was dark when I awoke and I actually felt rested。 The tension gone out of me； my reverie was much more peaceful。 In fact； there was a tiny charge of pleasant excitement dancing through the back of my head。 It was a tip…of…the…tongue imperative； a buried notion that …
Yes！
I sat up。 I reached for my clothes； began to dress。 I buckled on Grayswandir。 I folded a blanket and tucked it under my arm。 Of course。。。
My mind felt clear and my side had stopped throbbing。 I had no idea how long I had slept； and it was hardly worth checking at this point。 I had something far more important to look into； something which should have occurred to me a long while ago … had occurred； as a matter of fact。 I had actually been staring right at it once； but the crush of time and events had ground it from my mind。 Until now。
I locked my room behind me and headed for the stairs。 Candles flickered； and the faded stag who had been dying for centuries on the tapestry to my right looked back on the faded dogs who had been pursuing him for approximately as long。 Sometimes my sympathies are with the stag； usually though； I am all dog。 Have to have the thing restored one of these days。
The stairs and down。 No sounds from below。 Late； then。 Good。 Another day and we're still alive。 Maybe even a trifle wiser。 Wise enough to realize there are many more things we still need to know。 Hope； though。 There's that。 A thing I lacked when I squatted in that damned cell； hands pressed against my ruined eyes； howling。 Vialle。。。 I wish I could have spoken with you for a few moments in those days。 But I learned what I learned in a nasty school； and even a milder curriculum would probably not have given me your grace。 Still。。。 hard to say。 I have always felt I am more dog than stag； more hunter than victim。 You might have taught me something that would have blunted the bitterness； tempered the hate。 But would that have been for the best？ The hate died with its object and the bitterness； too； has passed … but looking back； I wonder whether I would have made it without them to sustain me。 I am not at all certain that I would have survived my internment without my ugly panions to drag me back to life and sanity time and again。 Now I can afford the luxury of an occasional stag thought； but then it might have been fatal。 I do not truly know； kind lady； and I doubt that I ever will。
Stillness on the second floor。 A few noises from below。 Sleep well； lady。 Around； and down again。 I wondered whether Random had uncovered anything of great moment。 Probably not； or he or Benedict should have contacted me by now。 Unless there was trouble。 But no。 It is ridiculous to shop for worries。 The real thing makes itself felt in due course； and I'd more than enough to go around。 The ground floor。
〃Will；〃 I said； and； 〃Rolf。〃
〃Lord Corwin。〃
The two guards had assumed professional stances on hearing my footsteps。 Their faces told me that all was well； but I asked for the sake of form。
〃Quiet； Lord。 Quiet；〃 replied the senior。
〃Very good；〃 I said； and I continued on； entering and crossing the marble dining hall。
It would work； I was sure of that； if time and moisture had not totally effaced it。 And then。。。
I entered the long corridor； where the dusty walls pressed close on either side。 Darkness； shadows； my footsteps。。。
I came to the door at the end； opened it； stepped out onto the platform。 Then down once more； that spiraling way； a light here； a light there； into the caverns of Kolvir。 Random had been right； I decided then。 If you had gouged out everything； down to the level of that distant floor； there would be a close correspondence between what was left and the place of that primal Pattern we had visited this morning。
。。。 On down。 Twisting and winding through the gloom。 The torch and lantern…lit guard station was theatrically stark within it。 I reached the floor and headed that way。
〃Good evening。 Lord Corwin；〃 said the lean； cadaverous figure who rested against a storage rack； smoking his pipe； grinning around it。
〃Good evening； Roger。 How are things in the nether world？〃
〃A rat； a bat； a spider。 Nothing much else astir。 Peaceful。〃
〃You enjoy this duty？〃
He nodded。
〃I am writing a philosophical romance shot through with elements of horror and morbidity。 I work on those parts down here。〃
〃Fitting； fitting；〃 I said。 〃I'll be needing a lantern。〃
He took one from the rack； brought it to flame from his candle。
〃Will it have a happy ending？〃 I inquired。
He shrugged。
〃I'll be happy。〃
〃I mean； does good triumph and hero bed heroine？ Or do you kill everybody off？〃
〃That's hardly fair；〃 he said。
〃Never mind。 Maybe I'll read it one day。〃
〃Maybe；〃 he said。
I took the lantern and turned away； heading in a direction I had not taken in a long while。 I discovered that I could still measure the echoes in my mind。
Before too long； I neared the wall； sighted the proper corridor； entered it。 It was simply a matter of counting my paces then。 My feet knew the way。
The door to my old cell stood partly ajar。 I set down the lantern and used both hands to open it fully。 It gave way grudgingly； moaning as it moved。 Then I raised the lantern； held it high； and entered。
My flesh tingled and my stomach clenched itself within me。 I began to shiver。 I had to fight down a strong impulse to bolt and run。 I had not anticipated such a reaction。 I did not want to step away from that heavy brassbound door for fear that it would be slammed and bolted behind me。 It was an instant close to pure terror that the small dirty cell had aroused in me。 I forced myself to dwell on particulars … the hole which had been my latrine； the blackened spot where I had built my fire on that final day。 I ran my left hand over the inner surface of the door； finding and tracing there the grooves I had worn while scraping away with my spoon。 I remembered what the activity had done to my hands。 I stooped to examine the gouging。 Not nearly so deep as it had seemed at the time； not when pared to the total thickness of the door。 I realized how much I had exaggerated the effects of that feeble effort t