o give visions to the boy； not to be seen as himself； a whisky…Red with one eye missing。
What vision will I show him？
Lolla…Wossiky reached inside his White man's trousers to where tie still wore his loincloth； and pulled his knife from its sheath。 He held both his hands high； the one holding the knife。 Then he closed his eye。
The boy still didn't see him； his eyes were closed。 So Lolla…Wossiky gathered the white light he could feel around him； gathered it close to himself； so that he could feel himself shining brighter and brighter。 The light came from his skin； so he tore open the breast of the White man's shirt he wore； then raised his hands again。 Now； even through closed eyelids； the boy could see the brightness； and he opened his eyes。
Lolla…Wossiky felt the boy's terror at the sight of the apparition he had bee： a bright and shining Red man； one…eyed； with a sharp knife in his hand。 But it wasn't fear Lolla…Wossiky wanted。 No one should fear his own dream beast。 So he sent the light outward to the boy； to include him； and with the light he sent calm； calm； don't be scared。
The boy relaxed a little； but still wriggled up in his bed； so he was sitting up； leaning against the wall。
It was time to begin to wake the boy from his life of sleep。 How did Lolla…Wossiky know what to do？ No man； Red or White； had ever been another man's dream beast。 Yet he knew without thinking what he ought to do。 What the boy needed to see and feel。 Whatever came to Lolla…Wossiky's mind that felt right to do； that was what he did。
Lolla…Wossiky took his shining knife and brought the blade against his other palm and cut。 Sharp； hard； deep； so blood leapt from the wound； rushed down his forearm to gather and pool in his sleeve。 Quickly it began to drip on the floor。
The pain came suddenly； a moment later； Lolla…Wossiky knew at once how to take the pain and make it into a picture and put it into the boy's mind。 The picture of his sisters' room as a small weak creature saw it。 Rushing in； hungering； hungering； looking for the food； certain that the food was there； on the soft body was the promise； climb the body； find the food。 But great hands slapped and brushed； and the small creature was thrown onto the floor。 The floor shook with giant footfalls； a sudden shadow； the agony of death。
Again and again； each small life； hungering； trusting； and then betrayed； crushed； battered。
Many lived； but they cowered； they scurried； they fled。 The sisters' room； the room of death； yes； they fled from there。 But better to stay there and die than run into the other room； the room of lies。 Not words； there were no words in the small creature's life； there were no thoughts that could be named as thoughts。 But the fear of death in the one place was not as strong as another kind of fear； the fear of a world gone crazy； a place where anything could happen； where nothing could be trusted； where nothing was certain。 A terrible place。
Lolia…Wossiky ended the vision。 The boy was pressing his hands against his eyes； sobbing desperately。 Lolla…Wossiky had never seen anyone so tortured by remorse； the vision Lolla…Wossiky had given him was stronger than any dream a man could imagine for himself。 I am a terrible dream beast； thought Lolla…Wossiky。 He will wish I hadn't wakened him。 In dread of his own strength； Lolla…Wossiky opened his eye。
At once the boy disappeared； and Lolla…Wossiky knew that the boy would think that Lolla…Wossiky had also disappeared。 What now？ he thought。 Am I here to make this boy crazy？ To give him a terrible thing； as bad as the black noise was to me？
He could see from the shaking of the bed； the movement of the bedclothes； that the boy was still crying passionately。 Lolla…Wossiky closed his eye； and again sent the light to the boy。 Calm； calm。
The boy's weeping became a whimper； and he looked again at Lolla…Wossiky； who was still shining with a dazzling light。
Lolla…Wossiky didn't know what to do。 While he was silent and uncertain； Alvin began to speak； to plead。 〃I'm sorry； I'll never do it again； I'll〃
Babbling on and on。 Lolla…Wossiky pushed more light at him； to help him see better。 It came to the boy almost as a question。 What will you never do again？
Alvin couldn't answer； didn't know。 What was it he actually did？ Was it because he sent the roaches to die？
He looked at the Shining Man and saw an image of a Red kneeling before a deer； calling it to e and die； the deer came； trembling； afraid； the Red loosed his arrow and it stood quivering on the deer's flank； the deer's legs wobbled； and it fell。 It wasn't the dying or the killing that was his sin； because dying and killing were a part of life。
Was it the power he had？ The knack he had for making things go just where he wanted； to break just at the right place； or fit together so tight that they joined forever without any gluing or hammering。 The knack he had for making things do what he wanted； arrange themselves in the right order。 Was it that？
Again he looked at the Shining Man； and now he saw a vision of himself pressing his hands against a stone； and the stone melted like butter under his hands； came out in just the shape he wanted； smooth and whole； fell from the side of the mountain and rolled away； a perfect ball； a perfect sphere； growing and growing until it was a whole world； shaped just the way his hands had made it； with trees and grass springing up in its face； and animals running and leaping and flying and swimming and crawling and burrowing on and above and beneath the ball of stone that he had made。 No； it wasn't a terrible power； it was a glorious one； if he only knew how to use it。
If it isn't the dying and it isn't the power； what did I do wrong？
This time the Shining Man didn't show him anything。 This time Alvin didn't have the answer e to him in a vision。 This time he studied it out in his mind。 He felt like he couldn't understand； he was too stupid to understand； and then suddenly he knew。
It was because he did it for himself。 It was because the roaches thought he was doing it for them； and really he was doing it for himself。 Hurting the roaches； his sisters； everyone； making everyone suffer and all for what？ Because Alvin Miller Junior was angry and wanted to get even
Now he looked at the Shining Man and saw a fire leap from his single eye and strike him in the heart。 〃I'll never use it for myself again；〃 murmured Alvin Junior； and when he said the words he felt as though his heart were on fire； it burned so hot inside。 And then the Shining Man disappeared again。
Lolla…Wossiky stood panting； his head spinning。 He felt weak； weary。 He had no idea what the boy had been thinking。 He only knew what visions to send him； and then at the end； no vision at all； just to stand there； that's all he was to do； stand there and stand there until； suddenly； he sent a strong pulse of fire at the boy and buried it in his heart。
And now what？ Twice now he had closed his eye and appeared to the boy。 Was he through？ He knew that he was not。
For the third time Lolla…Wossiky closed his eye。 Now he could see that the boy was much brighter than he was； that the light had passed from him into the child。 And then he understood he was the boy's dream beast； yes； but the boy was also his。 Now it was time for him to wake up from his dream life。
He took three steps and knelt beside the bed； his face only a little way from the boy's small and frightened face； which now shone so brightly that Lolla…Wossiky could hardly see that it was a child and not a man who looked at him。 What do I want from him？ Why am I here？ What can he give me； this powerful child？
〃Make all things whole；〃 Lolla…Wossiky whispered。 He spoke； not in English； but in Shaw…Nee。
Did the boy understand？ Alvin raised his small hand； reached out gently and touched Lolla…Wossiky's cheek； under the broken eye。 Then he raised his finger until it touched the slack eyelid。
There was a cracking sound in the air； and a spark of light。 The boy gasped and drew back his hand。 Lolla…Wossiky didn't see him； though； because suddenly the boy was invisible。 But Lolla…Wossiky had no care for what he saw；