t remember about one whisky trader locked up in a storage room。 Hooch didn't hanker to die in a fire of his own setting that wasn't no kind of vengeance。 Time enough to start fires when he had a noose around his neck someday； but he wasn't going to risk burning to death just to get even over something like this。
But the main reason he didn't start a fire wasn't fear； it was plain business sense。 Harrison was doing this to show Hooch that he didn't like the way Hooch delayed shipments of likker to jack up the price。 Harrison was showing him that he had real power； and all Hooch had was money。 Well； let Harrison play at being a powerful man。 Hooch knew some things； too。 He knew that someday the Wobbish country would petition the U。S。 Congress in Philadelphia to bee a state。 And when it did； a certain William Henry Harrison would have his little heart set on being governor。 And Hooch had seen enough elections back in Suskwahenny and Pennsylvania and Appalachee to know that you can't get votes without silver dollars to pass around。 Hooch would have those silver dollars。 And when the time came； he might pass around those silver dollars to Harrison voters； and then again he might not。 He just might not。 He might help another man sit in the governor's mansion； someday when Carthage was a real city and Wobbish was a real state； and then Harrison would have to sit there the rest of his life and remember what it was like to be able to lock people up； and he would grind his teeth in anger at how men like Hooch took all that away from him。
That's how Hooch kept himself entertained； sitting in that lock…up room for two long days and nights。
Then they hauled him out and brought him into court unshaven； dirty； his hair wild； and his clothes all wrinkled up。 General Harrison was the judge； the jury was all in uniform； and the defense attorney was Andrew Jackson！ It was plain Governor Bill was trying to make Hooch get mad and start in ranting； but Hooch wasn't born yesterday。 He knew that whatever Harrison had in mind； it wouldn't do no good to yell about it。 Just sit tight and put up with it。
It took only a few minutes。
Hooch listened with a straight face as a young lieutenant testified that all Hooch's whisky had been sold to the sutler at exactly the price it sold for last time。 According to the legal papers； Hooch didn't make a penny more from having kept them waiting four months between shipments。 Well； thought Hooch； that's fair enough； Harrison's letting me know how he wants things run。 So he didn't say a word。 Harrison looked as merry as you please； behind his magisterial solemnity。 Enjoy yourself； thought Hooch。 You can't make me mad。
But he could； after all。 They took 220 dollars right off the top and handed it over to Andrew Jackson right there in court。 Counted out eleven gold twenty…dollar coins。 That caused Hooch physical pain； to see that fiery metal dropping into Jackson's hands。 He couldn't keep his silence then。 But he did manage to keep his voice low and mild…sounding。 〃It don't seem regular to me；〃 he said； 〃to have the plaintiff acting as defense attorney。〃
〃Oh； he's not your defense attorney on the debt charges；〃 said His Honor Judge Harrison。 〃He's just your defense attorney on the likker charges。〃 Then Harrison grinned and gaveled that matter closed。
The likker business didn't take much longer。 Jackson carefully presented all the same invoices and receipts to prove that every keg of whisky was sold to the sutler of Carthage Fort； and not a speck of it to any Reds。 〃Though I will say；〃 said Jackson； 〃that the amount of whisky represented by these receipts seems like enough for three years for an army ten times this size。〃
〃We've got a bunch of hard…drinking soldiers；〃 said Judge Harrison。 〃And I reckon that likker won't last six months。 But not a drop to the Reds； Mr。 Jackson； you may be sure！〃
Then he dismissed all charges against Hooch Palmer； alias Ulysses Brock。 〃But let this be a lesson to you； Mr。 Palmer；〃 said Harrison in his best judicial voice。 〃Justice on the frontier is swift and sure。 See to it you pay your debts。 And avoid even the appearance of evil。〃
〃Sure enough；〃 said Hooch cheerfully。 Harrison had rolled him over good； but everything had worked out fine。 Oh； the 220 dollars bothered him； and so did the two days in jail； but Harrison didn't mean for Hooch to suffer much。 Because what Jackson didn't know； and no one else saw fit to mention； was that Hooch Palmer happened to have the contract as sutler for the U。S。 Army in Wobbish Territory。 All those documents that proved he hadn't sold the likker to the Reds really showed that he sold the likker to himself and at a profit； too。 Now Jackson would head on home and Hooch would settle down in the sutler's store； selling likker to the Reds at extortionate prices； splitting the profits with Governor Bill and watching the Reds die like flies。 Harrison had played his little joke on Hooch； right enough； but he'd played an even bigger one on old Hickory。
Hooch made sure to be at the wharf when they ferried Jackson back across the Hio。 Jackson had brought along two big old mountain boys with rifles； no less。 Hooch took note that one of them looked to be half Red himself； probably a Cherriky half…breed there was lots of that kind of thing in Appalachee； White men actually marrying squaws like as if they was real women。 And both those rifles had 〃Eli Whitney〃 stamped on the barrel； which meant they was made in the state of Irrakwa； where this Whitney fellow set up shop making guns so fast he made the price drop； and the story was that all his workmen was women； Irrakwa squaws； if you can believe it。 Jackson could talk all he wanted about pushing the Reds west of the Mizzipy； but it was already too late。 Ben Franklin did it； by letting the Irrakwa have their own state up north； and Tom Jefferson made it worse by letting the Cherriky be full voting citizens in Appalachee when they fought their revolution against the King。 Treat them Reds like citizens and they start to figure they got the same rights as a White man。 There was no way to have an orderly society if that sort of thing caught on。 Why； next thing you know them Blacks'd start trying to get out of being slaves； and first thing you know you'd sit down at the bar in a saloon and you'd look to your left and there'd be a Red； and you'd look to your right and there'd be a Black； and that was just plain against nature。
There went Jackson； thinking he was going to save the White man from the Red； when he was traveling with a half…breed and toting Red…made rifles。 Worst of all； Jackson had eleven gold coins in his saddle pouch； coins that properly belonged to Hooch Palmer。 It made Hooch so mad he couldn't think straight。
So Hooch hotted up that saddle pouch； right where the metal pin held it onto the saddle。 He could feel it from here； the leather charring； turning ash…black and stiff around that pin。 Pretty soon； as the horse walked along； that bag would drop right off。 But since they was likely to notice it； Hooch figured he wouldn't stop with the pouch。 He hotted up a whole lot of other places on that saddle； and on the other men's saddles； too。 When they reached the other shore they mounted up and rode off； but Hooch knew they'd be riding bareback before they got back to Nashville。 He most sincerely hoped that Jackson's saddle would break in such a way and at such a time that old Hickory would land on his butt or maybe even break his arm。 Just thinking about the prospect made Hooch pretty cheerful。 Every now and then it was kind of fun to be a spark。 Take some pompous holy…faced lawyer down a peg。
Truth is； an honest man like Andrew Jackson just wasn't no match for a couple of scoundrels like Bill Harrison and Hooch Palmer。 It was just a crying shame that the army didn't give no medals to soldiers who likkered their enemies to death instead of shooting them。 Cause if they did； Harrison and Palmer would both be heroes； Hooch knew that for sure。
As it was； Hooch reckoned Harrison would find a way to make himself a hero out of all this anyway； while Hooch would end up with nothing but money。 Well； that's how it goes； thought Hooch。 Some peop